With mental health being more openly discussed, especially as suicide continues to affect our communities, there are still many symptoms the media rarely addresses. Beyond suicide, people silently struggle with depression, anxiety, manic episodes, drinking, gambling, and other forms of emotional distress.
Having a strong support system can make all the difference, not only for our loved ones, but for coworkers, friends, and ourselves.
Dating Someone with a Mental Health Condition
What we don’t talk about enough is what it’s like to date someone living with a mental health illness, and how to honestly support them without losing yourself in the process. Everyone deserves love and a supportive partner, but how do you love someone navigating mental health challenges?
I never asked myself that question until I dated someone experiencing major depressive symptoms. He slept a lot, his energy was heavy, and alcohol often fueled angry outbursts. He struggled with life transitions and lacked coping skills to handle adversity.
As a therapist — and someone who grew up with a parent battling addiction—I recognized the signs. I was more equipped to understand his behaviors, but that didn’t make it easy. Many nights, I felt more like a caretaker than a partner. Eventually, I developed compassion fatigue and encouraged him to seek therapy.
When You Become the Therapist in the Relationship
Before he went to therapy, I was his therapist. I organized his life, helped him write, and constantly cleaned up his messes, emotionally and literally. It was draining and took a toll on my own mental health. I spent my days supporting clients, then came home to support my partner.
That constant giving led to resentment and exhaustion. Compassion fatigue made me less patient, less empathetic, and more withdrawn. I finally realized I needed therapy too.
How Therapy Helped Us Heal
Therapy gave us structure, accountability, and new perspective. We developed a routine, one that replaced idle time with intentional activity. I’m a firm believer in not sleeping in on weekends; my household is up by 8 a.m. We started planning dates, going outdoors, and exploring new experiences together.
Changing your scenery can help alleviate depressive symptoms. Activities like working out, yoga, hiking, zip lining, or rock climbing release endorphins—the “feel-good” hormones that boost mood and reduce stress. Symptoms may not disappear entirely, but having a plan helps you respond instead of react when they resurface.
A key part of supporting a partner is understanding their triggers and creating space for open, honest communication. Their willingness to share and your ability to listen without judgment, can make all the difference.
Support Without Enabling
Loving someone with mental health challenges requires compassion and boundaries. It’s easy to slip into the role of fixer or caretaker, but true love isn’t about control, it’s about empowerment.
You can’t heal someone who isn’t ready to do the work. Your role is to support, not save.
As partners and spouses, we must meet our loved ones where they are, honoring their autonomy and humanity. Involve them in decisions, activities, and plans, but give them space to lead.
And don’t forget you deserve support too. Partners of those with mental health symptoms often need their own outlets, therapy, or community.
Love is challenging. But when both partners commit to growth and teamwork, healing becomes a shared journey.
Everything is love. ❤️